I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
