boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
