nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
