I accidentally had phone sex last night
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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