she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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