So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
