We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
