I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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