Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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