dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
