I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
These tits shall not be calmed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
