i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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