i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
