Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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