who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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