glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
