I cannot find my penis.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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