small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
