This is not my ceiling
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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