Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
