my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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