No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
