is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
