brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
