I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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