how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize