You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Apparently you make a good broom.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
