i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
