I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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