Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
