Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
