is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize