he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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