so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just gift wrapped bread.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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