Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
