I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
