We won't sleep together?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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