What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
