At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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