he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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