We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
