Im at strip club and am horny
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
