Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
