if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
