There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
