Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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