K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Randomize
