oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize