have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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