I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It was confusing and full of hummus
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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