Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
