Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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