You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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