I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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