Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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