what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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