She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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