I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
