Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
